BLOG

My mother taught me how to give gifts.  She loved to search for perfect gifts for everyone in our family, especially on holidays. I really believe that she felt as much joy giving a gift as did the person who received it. Her smile literally lit up the whole room as each opened the perfectly wrapped boxes, feeling the love of a matriarch for her generations.  The generosity that flowed in those spaces stamped its signature into the hearts of everyone present, filled us with l

A woman said this to me recently.  And before I get any further I need to say how heartbreaking it was for me to hear.  I know that she is not the only one who feels this way.  Many women have expressed similar things over the years, deeply feeling the lack of community, the absence of elders and aunties and all of the other people who make up that village that it takes to raise a child.  This is the harsh truth of these times.  Loneliness is so real, and even when you try to

Thinking the same thoughts over and over again In our last meeting of the women’s collective, someone shared that she was feeling really frustrated, noticing that she was thinking the same thought over and over again, as she struggled with a difficult decision.  She was feeling stuck as her mind kept going in circles.   Most of the women present recognized this pattern, thinking and rethinking in such a way that it can really make you feel like you are losing your mind.  With

Longing to feel more pleasure in your life “I feel shut down in my body. I am not finding pleasure anywhere, not from sex or from being in a beautiful place, not even from eating!”  A woman in our collective recently shared this, and immediately other women in the group nodded in agreement and understanding. To be fair, we are in the deep winter, a dark time of the year.  It’s natural for the body to slow down a bit, even to close down a bit.  Nonetheless, that does not mean

A young woman recently came to me for a 1-to-1 mentoring session, seeking clarity about a decision she felt she had  to make right away. She was quite stressed about the decision, and was judging herself pretty harshly for not being able to come to clarity.  If you are anything like me, you know that place, where the mind is thinking in loops, the same thought over and over, and nothing seems to make sense anymore. Personally, I know that pattern very well.  In our session, w

A woman in our collective recently shared about her experience working in a very masculine environment, and the ways that this challenges her to bring herself fully to her job.  Whoa.  This is a HUGE issue, and something that most women experience at some point in their lives, if not constantly, depending on  their context.   First of all,  recognize the COURAGE that it takes to show up in contexts like these.  If you are anything like me, you probably find yourself in situat

I am. And I know that I am not alone. I  am sure it’s connected to many things that are external to me - the climate crisis, the leadership crisis, general global collapse…all of these factors are very stressful and impact my state of mind.  But, the feeling of overwhelm I am noticing, at least in myself, is more than just the flood of things that I notice in the world. It’s also the way that I relate to myself, expecting so much of myself and then being disappointed that I d

Many of us feel the pain of fragmentation in our day to day lives. Often, we experience it as separation between people, as well as from the natural world.  That pain is real.  If you are anything like me, you live in a fragmented world, driving—or even flying—back and forth to so many places all the time, calling your beloveds to feel close even for a moment, aching for connection.  Sadly, this is the reality of our world these days.  I live far away from my birth family, as

Not long ago, someone on my mailing list replied to one of my emails about listening to the wisdom of the body.  She wondered, how can we take time to care about listening to the body when war rages all around us?  She criticized me for speaking about inner awareness while children are literally starving.  I sat with her words for a long time and really thought about how I could respond with dignity and authenticity.  After all, it is a luxury to have the time and space to wo

You can stop pretending everything is okay This summer Robert and I traveled to Portugal to search for our new home. It was such a relief to arrive in the beautiful green mountains, to swim in the pristine rivers and to breathe a sigh of relief after the intense period of war we have lived.   Three weeks into our trip, just as we started to really focus on our possibilities, we were awoken at 3 in the morning by a very calm policeman who simply said, “fire is coming.” We had

I cannot tell you how many people have reached out to me  asking for help  to think about how to integrate an awareness of the sacred into their daily life.  So often you can have a really powerful experience in a ceremony or a workshop  or a simple moment with your beloveds and then when you return to the routine of daily life that moment feels like it is gone.  Of course, it is really easy to respond by saying that everything is sacred and that if you just keep that awarene

Over the years, so many women have shared with me experiences they have had at work, in social situations, even at family gatherings, where someone speaks to them in a sexually inappropriate way, or even simply a sexist way, and they just cannot open their mouths to respond.  Has this ever happened to you?  Have you ever found your jaw glued shut, unable to form the words to reply to a sexually inappropriate comment even though you know that your boundary has been completely

One of my mentees recently shared that he’s feeling really lonely lately.  He lives with his family, has a beautiful partner and many friends, yet in his day to day, even when he is surrounded by others, he feels alone.  I really understand him.  There are so many moments when I notice that I am feeling disconnected even from my nearest and dearests in my life, for so many different reasons.  Sometimes because our perspectives are different, sometimes because we aren’t managi

noticing the way the changing temperature of the air  affects my skin my breath my mood.  breathing as the seasons change as life moves  and shifts this movement really affects my sense of being centered.   since I was a little girl, I remember feeling a bit unsteady in the face of change as if my feet aren’t quite reaching all the way to the ground as if I am somewhere floating slightly above the earth untethered Do you feel ungrounded as the seasons change?  Are you searchi

A few months ago, at a women’s retreat, a young woman shared - in the opening circle of the weekend - that she was pregnant, and the fetus was not going to live.  The doctors offered her the option of aborting by taking medication, or waiting and letting the pregnancy naturally miscarry.  She chose the latter, and shared that she could begin bleeding at any moment.  I was blown away by her courage; she was the youngest woman in the group by far, and apart from me and one othe

I cannot tell you how many times this subject comes up in the women’s collective.  It’s actually quite painful to recognize how well programmed we are to compete with one another.  And it is really liberating to realize that we are all culturally programmed to compete. Talking about this with other women normalizes a potentially painful behavior and allows us to work with it.  This programming is not natural.  It is our natural tendency, as women, to collaborate.   We are lif

A woman in the collective recently shared that she literally was sent home from work to take time to grieve.  What a great boss! And what an unfortunately rare situation… It was coming to the anniversary of her mother’s death, and the woman was feeling the season of grief, and at the same time was carrying on, doing her daily tasks to keep her head above water. Inside, she was hurting, feeling her mom’s absence, even though she had died years ago.  Her boss had also suffered

My daughter just got her first period (or you can feel it’s coming)...what to do? Congratulations! This is a moment of celebration to recognize and honor the girl, and her rising  fertility.  And…it's daunting! Your little girl is growing, and it can be really scary to think about what she needs from you in this next phase of life.  It can literally take your breath away to think about her navigating our complex world.  There is so much to say about this topic and there is no

Do you recognize this feeling, that you are giving with all of your heart to someone who seems to need your support, and they just don’t appreciate you! This happens in families, partnerships, friendships, work contexts…and often it can feel like you are not seen or recognized.  This happens to SO MANY PEOPLE. Relationships breathe, and there are moments when one is giving more because the other needs to receive. Dynamism in relationships is healthy, and when you are sometime

After a workshop a few weeks ago, a young woman opened up to me about her struggle to focus her attention, to organize and prioritize tasks.  “I must have ADHD, even though no one ever diagnosed me.” She cried as she talked about all of the things she wished she could accomplish, and the ways she feels like a failure for not having done them.  As she shared, my heart broke.  Her words were full of self judgement, a narrative of not being enough or making the best use of her t