Your boss told you to go home from work…and grieve!!

A woman in the collective recently shared that she literally was sent home from work to take time to grieve.  What a great boss! And what an unfortunately rare situation…

It was coming to the anniversary of her mother’s death, and the woman was feeling the season of grief, and at the same time was carrying on, doing her daily tasks to keep her head above water. Inside, she was hurting, feeling her mom’s absence, even though she had died years ago. 

Her boss had also suffered a loss and knew the pattern. When the death date comes close, feelings arise in the ever-spiraling cycle of grief. He took her aside and reminded her that there is no shame in taking time for yourself, to give space to the feelings that naturally come in the movement of the seasons.  She broke down crying on the spot, a bit embarrassed, surprised by her own reaction. She hadn’t even realized how much she needed to be seen in her pain, not to feel alone. She recognized that she hadn’t wanted to  make space for the pain herself, perhaps because she knew how much more it might hurt if she did. 

It makes such a difference to know that you are not alone in your grief. 

Each person experiences grief differently, and the journey to integrate it is personal. However, it can mean so much when someone sees you in your feelings, a living reminder that you are a part of the web of life, witnessing and being witnessed by others. 

It can be really overwhelming to all of a sudden feel a wave of grief and yet, it happens all the time.  That’s kind of how grief works, living in you constantly, sometimes expressing itself through pain, and sometimes sweet celebration.  Integrating grief means recognizing that it is not something you will get over. Integrating grief means learning to live with it, healthfully. 

Sometimes integrating grief means just taking some time to feel. Even if it hurts. 

It is an essential gift to give yourself time to grieve. 

If you are feeling the pain of loss, be like the boss who sent his employee home.  Give yourself permission to slow down, to rest, to feel.  Even five minutes of breathing or looking at a photo can be a huge support.