Still feeling competitive with other women…even at my age!

I cannot tell you how many times this subject comes up in the women’s collective.  It’s actually quite painful to recognize how well programmed we are to compete with one another. 

And it is really liberating to realize that we are all culturally programmed to compete. Talking about this with other women normalizes a potentially painful behavior and allows us to work with it. 

This programming is not natural.  It is our natural tendency, as women, to collaborate.   We are life givers. Whether you have birthed or not, you innately understand the interdependence of life. In this interdependence lay the knowing that when one part of the system is unwell, the whole system struggles to function.  The opposite is also true.  The thriving of one is a great contribution to the whole system thriving. 

Yet so much of the media you consume directs you to compare yourself to others, to judge your own worthiness in relation to others’ apparent achievements. I am triggered and feel worse about myself more than half the time I go on social media. Feeling bad about ourselves  is part of the design of mass media.  Social media rests on our tendency to compare and judge. When implemented accurately, comparing and judging are actually survival strategies.  In the realm of social media, comparing and judging threaten our self-confidence.  

In this cultural context, it is  radical to choose to realign with your natural inclination to collaborate, rather than compete.   In fact, not only to collaborate but to shine the others’ light.

Notice the movement of the sun and the moon. Notice the moon amplifying and reflecting the light of the sun.  This is how we women want to relate. 

This destructive culture encourages us to compete, rather than collaborate. 

Shedding light on the cultural education that oppresses us is a big piece of the work of the collective. We do this, together, because it’s too exhausting and too demoralizing to do on one’s own. But together we can unpack some of the ways we have learned to dim our light. 

Together, we redefine culture.