Grief as Celebration

A few days ago

we completed the 

Dance of the Spirits

and incredibly powerful ceremony

honoring the lives of the ones who no longer walk the earth. 

We danced for four nights

making offerings to the fire

embroidering the patterns of the spirits

upon the earth

with our steps.

We cried 

tears of grief

and danced the celebration

of having known our ancestors

in life

and in death. 

When I first met this ceremony

over a decade ago

it completely shifted my relation with death. 

I met the Dance

very shortly before my mom went to the stars

and since then 

have danced with her

every year

celebrating her life

and mine

celebrating our relationship

and recognizing that

death is an essential part of life. 

I am so grateful for this recognition

for the possibility to remember my mom

in joy

even though every day

I feel the pain of her absence.

I am so grateful 

to be able to hold both the pain and the celebration

because they truly do live together. 

I miss her 

because I love her. 

I give thanks every day

that I can grieve and celebrate

I can taste the sweetness 

of her love

in my tears. 

Grief is a journey

which can be very beautiful

even when it hurts.