“I have a problem with my will to do things.”

In a recent mentoring session, a woman who has been working with me for a while expressed that she feels she has a problem with her will, that it is really hard for her to commit to a practice and do it on a regular basis.  When we began to unpack this, she said, “I think I have a problem with my will.” 

I immediately responded by telling her that it’s not her who has a problem, but rather that we all struggle in this way, to commit to something and focus our attention on it.  

We live in a culture of endless distractions. 

We live in a culture that is pushing us to divide our attention, all the time. 

It is a tremendous work to stay present, to be with whatever it is that is asking for our concentration, when almost everything else around us is telling us to avoid being present.  The constant dinging of our phones literally takes us out of whatever is happening in the moment, to engage with something else, a notification, a message from another place. 

And it is much easier to remain distracted in the face of the challenging present in which we live.  Donna Haraway invites us to practice “staying with the trouble” — remaining present with the difficulties that present themselves to you.

Because actually the issue is not will —but that your attention is exhausted. 

What if you think about it this way: 

Difficulty committing to a practice isn’t a personal failure, but a very human response to a world that profits from scattering your focus. 

When you frame it as a problem with your will, you are blaming yourself, as if something is wrong with you.When you frame it as a relationship with attention, something else becomes possible.

You stop blaming and asking, “Why can’t I make myself do this?”and start wondering, “What is calling my attention — and how is that protecting me?”

Distraction is rarely random.Often, it’s a form of care — a way the nervous system tries to keep us from what feels overwhelming, painful, or simply too much to hold alone.

Staying with the trouble doesn’t mean gritting your teeth and pushing through.It means learning how to stay present with the challenges — in gentle, honest relationship.

If you’re noticing a longing to work differently with your attention, your practices, or the places where you feel stuck or scattered, I invite you to reach out.